Live Hope Every Day, Avoid Preemptive Escapes
My brother Jay has a dog named Kenny. Kenny is a Cairn Terrier with the personality of a scrappy old man who hides candy bars under his pillow and pinches nurses.
Jay and Kenny live on a boat in Seattle. The last time Jay came to Connecticut for a visit, he took Kenny with him. He’s small enough to ride in the cabin but was required to be tucked away in a carrier. Kenny doesn’t like carriers. Kenny is a free spirit. Kenny is rarely on a leash in Seattle when he and Jay bop around town. If it’s anything Kenny hates, it’s walls.
Last week, months after Jay and Kenny returned back to Seattle from their CT trip, I got a call that started, “You won’t believe what Kenny did.” Jay proceeded to tell me that when he picked up the carrier to look for something else, he noticed that the back mesh panel had been completely ripped apart. He said it looked like a few second rate piranhas had gotten to it. My brother couldn’t believe that, what seemed to be, a perfectly fine carrier, had been destroyed in what my brother labeled as “a preemptive escape.”
After I had a few laughs, I got to thinking. Fear is such a huge motivator. Despite the bigger payoff (a trip off the boat), Kenny’s fear of the immediate pain (confinement) caused him to take action to prevent immediate pain. Yes, I know we’re talking about a dog here but bear with me.
Kenny’s preemptive measures makes me think, how is hope so easily trumped by fear? Whether you have a personal hope or a particular hope for your business, chances are pretty good that, at first, hope feels like an aphrodisiac. Hope is liberating and enlightening. But, then, when it comes time to make hope happen, it suddenly seems insurmountable, risky or far away. Hope has a huge payoff yet the fear of what it takes to get it accomplished can seem impossible when you need to fit it into your daily schedule of a lunch meeting, conference call, writing an overdue proposal, making eight phone calls, showing up at your kid’s soccer practice and going to the dentist.
Hope exists on another planet.
Here on earth, we need details to function. We understand details. Details make us happy because we feel productive. Not accomplishing the details is frightening. What happens if I don’t send out that press release today? What happens if I don’t make that phone call? What happens if I don’t post this rambling to TheDeepEnd blog? Don’t answer that one.
Hope lives on Planet Promise. Planet Promise is a magical place where dreams, success and relief all live in harmony. Planet Promise is a place we like to visit but we have a difficult time living there. Our feet need to be grounded on earth. Earth makes sense.
So, let’s bring Planet Promise back down to Earth.
Try this five step program when conquering fear and preventing a preemptive escape from hope:
ONE: Jump Back.
Today, your hope could be to “double profits in your business by 2010″ or “get on the paid speaking circuit.” What was your hope five years ago? If you achieved your hope from five years ago, deconstruct it. List everything including: the actions you took to make it happen, the effect of external forces (support from others, timing, luck, etc.) and why you had that hope in the first place. If you were unable to fulfill your hope from five years ago, ask yourself the really, really difficult questions like: what prevented me from making it happen? Could I have done something differently or was I aiming too high? Do I even have that hope anymore? It’s okay to say no, by the way. And finally: What can I do to ensure that I don’t make the same mistakes again?
TWO: Burden People.
When something seems insurmountable, we assume we’re weak if we don’t conquer it alone. The best thing about other people is that they don’t live in your head.
THREE: Get Real.
If your hope seems lofty, such as “start a grassroots campaign that raises $250,000 for MS,” turn lofty into crafty by breaking it down into baby steps. Use the search engines to find stories on people who have raised similar successful campaigns. Then, just like you would for any big initiative, map out an action plan that includes Goals, Strategy, Timeline, Tactics, Measurement and Trouble Shooting. If the action plan seems daunting at first, start by putting something on the calendar each week like: “contact local MS Society and talk to head hauncho” or “float different fundraising ideas by Facebook friends.” If you determine that you need to devote two hours each week to planning, put it on the calendar. If something or someone else wants to invade that time slot, don’t let it.
FOUR: Mobilize Forces.
People want to help you. If your hope is directly tied to your business, trying to achieve it alone is futile and will impede your success. If you are not a company leader and have a hope that needs to be discussed with a decision maker, plan your argument first before you breeze into the president’s office to say, “We need to move to Oregon!” If you have completed steps ONE-THREE + taken your action plan and whittled it down to a compelling argument, the Oregon speech will sell itself. Either way, you need support to get the big stuff done. Success is your goal, not pride.
FIVE: Visualize It.
Write it down and post it up. Find 2-3 words that will keep you on track, print it up nice and big and post it wherever you need to see it: on the fridge, in the hall, next to your phone or wherever you will see it while in motion. This is key. If you post it next to your computer where you always look, you won’t see it after a while. The fridge door always opens, the phone is looked at when you pick up the handle, the hallway is a place for traffic and sometimes loitering.
Don’t be a Kenny. Bring hope down to Earth and make it a part of your daily life. Save the preemptive escapes for when you really need it, like your cousin’s wedding or the dentist.
Written by: Suzi Craig
Email the author: suzi@fathom.net
Very inspiring post. Not sure about your other readers, but I would LOVE to see a picture of this Kenny dog!
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