POSTED BY Suzi Craig

Jul 19, 2012

Social Network or Pub: Where Is Your Third Place?

This week, I had the pleasure of being on a panel called, “From Barstools to Ballots,” presented by Hartford Young Professionals & Entrepreneurs (HYPE) and Connecticut’s Old State House.

The discussion centered on where people go to interact and discuss current events. Back in “the day,” taverns and watering holes were hubs of activity, where people shared news, debated issues and, through conversation and serendipitous meetings, altered the course of their community. Today, where does this happen? Do you have a local haunt where everyone knows your name?

The Barstools to Ballots panel, from left to right: me, Bruce Clouette, Sean Williams and Adam von Gootkin. (photo credit: HYPE)

As someone knee deep in social networks and passionate about social events that happen when people face each other eye-to-eye versus avatar-to-avatar, this conversation was right up my alley. In the debate about social networks replacing in-person meetings, I believe you’ll never replicate what can happen when people are physically in a room together. And, I don’t think we should try. We live in a world where solitary disconnect is completely possible. If you are an agoraphobic, you can get everything you need to survive, even connections to the outside world, without ever leaving the house. But, what about the fulfillment of being with others? Is bettering our quality of life possible without ever engaging with other people and learning of their different views on the world? I believe environment is everything to building human connection and getting things done. The online social networks are just one part of that.

Twenty-three years ago, Ray Oldenburg coined the phrase, ‘The Third Place’ in his book, The Great Good Place. Beyond home (the first place) and work/school (the second place), people have “third places” like pubs where the informality of the setting and the mix of people from all walks of life becomes a tasty cocktail for civic engagement. As I once learned from organizational development consultant Al Bhatt, Starbucks lives and dies by the third place concept. Tell yourself that it’s the coffee you go there for but that’s just the Trojan horse. They’ve based their business on people who are drawn to a place where hanging out is of utmost importance.

For the HYPE event, historian and archaeologist Bruce Clouette, kicked off our conversation by presenting pictures of old Connecticut taverns (one of the oldest, I found out, was in my hometown of Lebanon, CT) and shared how important the tavern was to life in the 1700-1800s. The tavern was the hub of activity — people shared news, built relationships, rallied movements, relaxed, and recharged. If you were new to town, your first stop was the local tavern to make connections and get what you needed. In our discussion, we raised questions about what we’ve lost through population scale and sprawl — where do we go to interact with each other, to debate issues and, essentially, get things done outside of work and home?

My fellow panelists included Connecticut state rep Sean Williams and Adam von Gootkin of Onyx Spirits. Sean shared what he sees in the legislature, which is a sense of polarization, now that gift restrictions imposed on lobbyists has resulted in lobbyists being afraid to engage with politicians in social settings at all. Adam moderated the discussion but had a lot to add to the conversation. Onyx is the first moonshine to be produced in Connecticut since prohibition. Their success to date — only 9 months into distribution — comes from their purely grassroots effort of generating buzz in bars and in social media. Their product is all about bringing back the vibe of the third place.

For this night, our third place was Connecticut's Old State House. A very cool space indeed. (photo credit: HYPE)

Throughout the event, which was an open discussion with about 60 HYPE members and guests, I came to realize just how much has been lost over time as we place less and less value in spending time together for the purpose of just spending time together. In a time where obligation rules the world — either at home, work or in our community — where do we go to just “be”?

At Fathom, we look forward to being together during what’s known here as Friday Lunch. Last week we had a frank discussion about what Friday Lunch has been and should be. With so much going on, our happy social hour had turned into another business meeting. I made the case that during the week, Fathom is flat out — from deadlines to meetings and daily tasks to big conversations. By Friday, when our time for the week has run out, the last thing we want is another weighty discussion. So, we all decided that Friday Lunch would return back to its roots, to be about celebration, not business. Now, I see why Friday Lunch is so important for us. When we’re at Fathom, it’s our third place.

Where is your third place?

Posted by: Suzi Craig
Email the author: suzi@fathom.net